Adultery
by Dimo426
Summary: It would have been more merciful if he'd slapped me. At least the pain might have left me feeling alive.
1. Intro

This story was written for Quib's prompt in _The DG Forum Fic Exchange – Fall 2011_.

A/N: You will notice that this fic is slightly rushed...due to the short time limit and procrastination on my part. I hope this is still enjoyable though.

**Thanks to my beta, Boogum, for editing this so quickly! You were highly needed!**

Introduction

My first thoughts when waking up are of the clean, crisp sheets beneath me. Most mornings I run my fingers over them and sigh at the wonderful coolness. I have such a considerate husband. He knows how hot I get during my sleep. He charmed them to stay cool for me.

Touching the sheets below me every morning reminds me of how fortunate I am to have married Harry Potter. He really is such a thoughtful man. I have loved him since I was a young girl and knew I wanted to marry him for as long as I can remember. My marriage to him has been almost perfect. We rarely fight, we always compromise when we disagree, and we have three beautiful children.

Most would say I am the luckiest woman in the world. Women wish they were me, and, most days, I agree with them. I couldn't have asked for a better husband or father to our children. But I'm not happy.

I haven't been happy since I was sixteen and I really couldn't tell you why.

I remember the day I changed my mind about him as clearly as I can feel these sheets between my fingertips. Eight days before the final battle against Voldemort at Hogwarts, I received what would be my final detention.

I grumpily trudged down the halls toward the deep belly of the school. I had gotten caught laughing at the silly ideas of the Death Eaters. I entered Snape's classroom with as much hatred in me as I have ever felt. And I was so pissed off that Draco Malfoy was the proctor for my sorrow.

I honestly figured I was doomed. The Malfoys are well known for hating Weasleys. Since I am the youngest of seven and a female, I resigned myself to thinking I was the most hated of them all.

I thought Draco Malfoy would hex and curse me until my bones dissolved, but he surprised me. He talked to me. At first I was perplexed as to why he would be speaking to me at all, but I quickly realized he didn't want to participate in Death Eater activities anymore. He told me of his hatred for the Death Eaters and that he was exhausted from playing the role he needed to play to survive. I never said a word. I just listened.

When the detention was over, we parted ways. I never spoke of this to anyone.

My mind completely changed the way it thought about Draco Malfoy when he did not participate in the final battle. He vanished from sight and didn't reappear until a year later. Ever since then, I haven't been able to get him from my mind.

I guess I fell in love with him that day. Truly, madly, deeply in love. To me he was this torn prince. A prince trying to understand the world around him. And watching him tell me his problems, without regard to my status as a future member of the Order of the Phoenix, I instantly thought he was the most beautiful man in the universe.

I want to tell you my story. I need someone to understand why I have done the things I have done for the last eighteen years. I have struggled with this internal battle of right and wrong for far too long and I can't keep it to myself any longer.

**Quib's Prompt #2  
>Basic premise:<strong> This one will be written in between the lines of canon. 19 years later, Ginny and Harry are married and all is well. Except Ginny's been harboring a secret for 18 of them. (Basically, I want an affair story.) Ginny and Draco, 18 year (so far) affair, maybe delve into what keeps them coming back and why they never brought it to light.  
><strong>Must haves:<strong> Equal parts Harry/Ginny, Draco/Ginny, and Draco/Astoria to show the separate sides and what they enjoy in each relationship. (Not all three, just depending on which perspective you choose.)  
><strong>No-no's:<strong> Abusive!Harry or even Bad!Harry  
><strong>Rating range:<strong> M preferred  
><strong>Bonus points:<strong> A business trip turned rendezvous scene :D


	2. The Beginning

_**The Beginning **_

I was seventeen, freshly graduated from Hogwarts, and newly married. Life had just begun for me. I was looking for a job. Harry and I were looking for our first home. We wanted to start everything. The world seemed so colorful then.

I was on my way to a job interview and wearing the best robes I owned. I had the feeling that I could conquer the world. As I stomped my way up the steps to the Ministry to interview for a secretary position, I failed to notice the wet step above. I had this huge smile on my face that immediately turned to a big 'O' as I felt myself teetering backwards. A wave of panic ran through me in the millisecond I started falling. I thought I would break my neck. But, thankfully, someone caught me. Relief and gratitude assembled in my mind, but I couldn't stop the sweat that had arrived due to my duress.

I turned around and saw the fallen prince from Hogwarts, who I'd tried my best to forget. But every thought of forgetting him left my brain when his eyes pierced my soul.

"Better be careful. Your husband wouldn't want you to break your neck," he said to me and smirked.

I stood there, staring at him as if he were a giant green monster. He cocked his eyebrow and then finished the ascent of the Ministry stairs.

I stared after him for minutes as I tried to collect myself. Finally regaining my composure, my now less than confident self finished the walk to the waiting room. I sat and stared at the huge doors leading to the interview.

"Ginny Weasley?" the receptionist called.

"Potter," I corrected.

"Pardon. Mr. Malfoy will see you now," she told me, and gestured for me to enter the now ominous room to my left.

I stood up and walked into the room behind the large, wooden doors. My mind was racing. I had never researched this job. I just saw the word 'secretary' and thought it was perfect. I had never bothered to take the time to see for whom I would be working.

"Have a seat," he told me.

I paused for a moment before actually sitting. I felt so anxious and nervous and embarrassed. There was a giant elephant in the room due to the unspoken tension between us.

"Let's begin with why you want to work for the Ministry of Magic." He placed his hands together under his chin and intently watched me as I licked my lips.

"Well, my father works here and, when I was little, I would come to work with him sometimes. I was always fascinated with everything here." I nervously bit my fingers.

"You do realize that there is nothing fascinating about being a secretary, don't you?" he queried, leaning forward.

"Yes, I'm well aware of that," I admitted. He began to shuffle through some papers. I tried to read over the desk, but was unsuccessful.

"After looking through your resume, it appears that you have never had a job … Do you have any experience that would qualify you above someone else?"

"Um … well, no. No, I don't," I mumbled.

"Very well, then. Can you take notes well?"

"I believe I can. Everyone but Snape seemed to think so…"

"Yes, well, he would have been hard to please. You were a Gryffindor, after all," he teased.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Ginevra, let's cut to the chase. I'm going to do you a favor and hire you. When can you start?"

"Tomorrow."

"Good. I'll see you at nine, then," he confirmed, and then stood to escort me to the door.

When his hands touched mine to shake, my breath got caught in my throat. My cheeks felt so hot from a feeling I couldn't decipher. I'm sure it showed on my face.

As I was placing my hand on the handle to exit, I felt cool fingers brush against my neck. I shivered at the feeling and turned around. He pushed me against the door and pressed his body against mine while searching my eyes.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since then, Ginevra," he confessed.

His breathing was heavy and I began to feel my center moisten. All of these feelings were so new to me.

"Neither have I."

He nearly growled as he assaulted my lips and branded my skin with his touch. I returned his kiss with all the passion and yearning I had felt for the last year. I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled and tugged until he got the hint that I wanted more.

He pushed my robes aside and lifted my dress while he picked me up and placed my legs around his waist. A few seconds went by, probably so he could undo his pants, before I felt the tip of his cock press against my entrance through my panties.

I couldn't take it; I wanted him inside me like a blind man yearns to see. I began to kiss him like a wild banshee, clawing his arms, begging for him to take me.

He reached his hand down and ripped my panties away, rubbing my bundle of nerves delicately. He looked into my eyes as he licked his fingers and began to rub my folds. My eyes were hooded, but I couldn't stop looking at him. Everything he did turned me on, and I needed him. I really did.

"Please," I cried.

He smirked. I felt his hand move away and then suddenly, as if lightning had struck, his cock entered me so swiftly that my head fell back against the door and I screamed.

With each thrust, he brought me closer to the edge of oblivion that I longed to fall into. His hands were everywhere and my breath was caught in my throat. I had never been so excited or felt so filled in all of my short sexual life.

I needed to touch him too. I needed to feel his breath upon my skin. I needed his lips to press against mine. Hearing his grunts of pleasure only made me squirm.

I could feel it. Coming faster and harder until I fell off the cliff and my body went numb. I'm sure I made an embarrassing noise. But I doubt he was paying attention because he came right after me.

He had me propped against the door for quite some time. We spent several minutes with our chests heaving, trying to catch our breath. His head was leaning into my shoulder; mine still against the door.

He lowered me to the ground as he righted his clothes. I felt awkward, like he would reject me. But he did something that killed the elephant that had been in the room. He kissed my shoulder and then smiled at me.

I smiled back, fixed myself, and then left to go home to my husband.

You see, I didn't go home that afternoon without guilt. I did feel guilty. And for the next week, as I trained with the other secretaries of the department, I avoided Draco Malfoy.

Every night, when I went home to my husband, I would feel as if guilt was eating at my soul. I would try to quell it by making love to my husband daily; sometimes more often than that. But nothing would help.

A month had gone by. There was tension between Draco and myself, but we left it alone. I think he was waiting for me to decide if I wanted to continue this affair, if that's what it was at that point. I could have let the little tryst be just what it was: a onetime thing. But there was a nagging feeling in my gut that told me to be with him again. I needed to feel his touch to make me feel whole.

So, after another month of no sexual contact with him, I gave in.

I had been married for only four months when I began an affair with the love of my life.


	3. The Middle

The Middle

It had been nine years since Draco and I started this. I don't know how many times I had tried to end it over the last nine years , staying away from him or ignoring his owls. But I just couldn't. He was like a drug that I needed. I had to get my fix or I would go crazy.

At this time, I had two amazing children. I had two boys, James and Albus. James was seven and Albus was six. When anyone looked at my sons, it was obvious they were the sons of Harry Potter.

Throughout each of my pregnancies, Draco and I stayed away from each other. I think a part of him always wanted me to leave Harry. He would never ask it of me, but he would always try to get me to stay later or just not go home at all.

Draco married two years into our affair. Astoria Greengrass was beautiful, but I knew he didn't actually love her. He was with her for her pureblood status and to keep up appearances. Her family had money, too. It didn't hurt that she also quickly gave him an heir. His son, Scorpius, is very handsome. A part of me wished _I_ was his mother.

I realized, after a nine year affair, that I truly loved both Draco and my husband. After this long, a person would think I would have chosen. But I couldn't. I knew that I had committed myself to Harry, but I couldn't let go of Draco either. Harry was always so good to me. He was so overjoyed when he found out I was pregnant for the third time.

I was absolutely devastated when I found out I was pregnant again. Either my husband is a moron or he simply chose not to acknowledge the fact that we had not been intimate (for time constraints) in three months. This baby was Draco's. I had no idea what to do. Questions plagued my mind for days. I even considered aborting it, but I just couldn't get rid of something Draco and I had made.

I never told Draco that Lily was his. I went to him when I found out I was pregnant, to let him know I would not be seeing him for a while, and he congratulated me. I could see in his eyes that he was crushed that I would have yet another tie keeping me to Harry Potter, though.

Lily's birth shocked me. Of course, Harry and I instantly fell in love with her. Either Harry didn't notice or he chose not to, but Lily had silver eyes. I thanked Merlin that she had my flaming red hair. My suspicions that this child was not Harry's were confirmed when I gazed into my daughter's eyes.

I tried to stay away from Draco for the next few years. I decided when Lily was born that I would not see him anymore. I decided that Harry was so wonderful to me and that I truly loved him. Besides, looking at Lily would remind me of Draco every day. That's all I thought I needed.

I doted on my daughter. I took her everywhere with me. I managed to buy her all the wonderful things that I had always dreamed of having as a little girl.

It was unavoidable, though, that Draco would eventually figure out that Lily was his.

It was the first day of Hogwarts. The entire Weasley and Potter clans went together to drop off our eldest children for their first years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Rose Weasley, my niece, and my son, James, were so excited that they practically skipped to the train without saying goodbye. Albus and Lily wanted to go so bad.

It never crossed my mind, as I saw Scorpius Malfoy boarding the train, that Draco would be there. I had Lily on my hip and was turning around to find a good spot for Apparation when I bumped into a hard body.

"Excuse me," I told this person.

I looked up into his eyes and my heart fell in my stomach. It was Draco. He was looking at me like I was this toy he had lost and had now found again. I had never felt so wanted, so loved. But then his eyes skimmed over to Lily. She was smiling at him and stuck her hand out to greet him.

"How to do?" she greeted him in her three-year-old voice.

"Very well. And yourself?" he asked in return as he shook her little hand.

"Marbelous. Mummy, who dis boy?" she asked me.

"This is a friend of Mummy's from school. Say hello to Mr. Malfoy," I nervously said.

"Ello, Mr. Malpoy. I Lily." She beamed.

"Nice to meet you, Lily. You have beautiful eyes." He darted his gaze to me and quirked his brow. I knew he realized.

"Tank you!" she told him, and then she looked at me. "Mummy, can I go potty?"

"Yes. Hurry up, though," I told her, and ushered her into the restroom.

Draco stood staring at me for what seemed like hours.

"How in the fuck could you not tell me?" he screamed in whispered tones.

"You didn't need to know."

"What do you mean, I didn't need to know? I have a daughter! I think I deserved the right to know about her, Ginevra!"

I flinched at his harsh tone. I knew it wasn't right to keep this from him, but I was trying to do what was best for my family.

"You know about her now," I calmly told him. I couldn't win this one.

"Yes, now. So for the last four years you have avoided me. I thought you were pregnant with another of Potter's lot. I stayed away because I wanted you to have what you wanted! Do you know how horrible this has been for me?" he roared.

I kept looking around me to make sure no one would notice.

"I'm sorry, Draco. You know I have always wanted you. I love you. But I love Harry too, and I was trying to do the right thing and be faithful to him. How do you think I have felt for the last four years without you? Raising our child that has your eyes? I've been tortured without you."

Draco looked at me like he wanted to embrace me, but he knew he couldn't.

"Meet me tomorrow. At the manor. Astoria will be on a holiday with her sister. I'll be alone," he told me and walked away.

I knew I would have no choice but to meet him. The longer I stayed away from him, the easier it was to overcome my urge to have him, to be loved by him. But after seeing him today, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away any longer.


	4. The End

The End

It was my nineteenth wedding anniversary to my husband. Harry took me to the finest restaurant in Diagon Alley. We were both dressed to impress and I could tell he was so happy. You could see it in his eyes how much he loved me. It only made me feel guiltier.

As I sat at the table with my husband, I questioned myself on how I could have done this to him for so many years. I had been having an affair behind his back for eighteen years now. I had even given birth to a child that was not his. And I had given my heart to a man that didn't really deserve it.

As Harry toasted to our nineteen years together, I looked across the room, unable to look him in the eye. I spotted Draco, drunk and on a date with Astoria. He knew that it was my wedding anniversary, and he knew this was my favorite spot. Why did he have to ruin this?

"…and I know we have had some difficult times over the years, but I still love you as much as I did when I first laid eyes on you," Harry told me, grinning that boyishly handsome smile of his. I couldn't help but blush.

I flicked my eyes back to Draco and realized how angry he looked. If looks could kill, Harry would have died that night.

"I need to use the loo. I'll be right back," I told Harry, while getting up from my chair.

I could see the hurt in his eyes at my dismissal of his lovely words, but I needed to calm Draco before he ousted our horrible nineteen year affair. I knew Draco would follow me. He always did. If I pushed, he pulled. It was always like that with Draco and I. We could never let go of each other. No matter how many times I would try to let him go, he would always pull me back.

I turned the corner to go down the hallway that led to the bathrooms and was slammed into the wall. I didn't even have to open my eyes to realize that Draco was pink in the face from anger.

"It positively sickens me to see you with him," he said scathingly.

"He is my husband, Draco. Now let me go," I calmly told him. It seemed to anger him more.

"I will not let you go!" he yelled. "Do you have any idea how long I've loved you? I've invested more of myself in you than I ever have anyone else!"

"It's not that simple for me, Draco! I love you both!" I started to tear up.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving Astoria now that Scorpius is older. I'm asking you to leave him and be with me."

He spoke in a triumphant manner, but I could see the nervousness in his eyes. He was scared I wouldn't choose him.

I remember standing there forever, thinking about what I should do. I knew I loved both of these men. What I loved about Harry was the comfort and stability he gave me. With Draco it was the passion. I wondered if I should be selfish, considering my kids. Would they still love me if I left their dad?

"What about my kids?" I asked.

"What about _our_ kid?" he countered.

I sighed. "Draco, my kids are still in school. This isn't just about me anymore. I have to think of them."

"Is that your answer, then?" He looked defeated.

"It has to be. I'm sorry." I wanted to cry so badly, but I didn't.

"I'm sorry it ended this way. I will always love you, Ginevra. I hope Potter makes you happy," he said, and then walked away.

I lost it then. I fell to the floor and started bawling my eyes out. Hearing him tell me it was truly over, after eighteen years, was devastating. My heart was broken.

After twenty minutes, and then righting myself, I went back to my table. Harry had this melancholy look to him and I felt even guiltier than before. I also felt a sense of relief. I no longer would be cheating on him.

We ate our dinner in silence, not uttering a word. I could feel Harry's eyes on me throughout the night, but I couldn't look back. Just looking at him and knowing I had chosen him over Draco made me want to cry even harder. Had I made the right choice?

"Ginny … I'm going to tell the kids that I'm leaving you."

I nearly choked.

"What?" I almost yelled.

"I've known this whole time that you have not been faithful. And I know Lily isn't mine."

"I don't kn—"

"There is no need to interrupt. Let me finish," he told me.

He looked very calm. I looked a right mess.

"I don't know who it is," he said, "but please don't lie to me, Ginny. Is there someone else?"

"Not anymore," I answered.

He was silent for a moment, placing his head in his hands. "I was right all along," he whispered to himself. Then he looked at me. "I want you to be happy. If this guy makes you happy, I'll graciously step aside. I love you too much to stand in your way if you want someone else."

"But I love you," I pleaded. Tears were forming in my eyes.

"I know you do, but it isn't enough for you. We are getting a divorce. I've already made up my mind. I can't pretend to not notice anymore."

"But we ended things," I confessed.

"Did he ask you to leave me? Did you love each other?"

I was so ashamed to answer.

"Yes," I admitted.

Harry looked away and shook his head. "All I can ask of you is to wait a little while before you let everyone know about your new boyfriend. I'm not going to tell anyone about this," he told me and then stood up.

"Please, Harry. Don't do this," I pleaded.

He walked over to me and cupped my face in his hands. "I just want you to be happy. Can you do that for me?" he asked and then gently placed his lips against mine.

I wrapped my arms around him and held on tightly. After a few seconds, he unwound my arms and left.

It would have been more merciful if he'd slapped me. At least the pain might have left me feeling alive. But I wasn't alive, not really. He'd killed me inside with his words, spoken so calmly as if he were just talking about the weather. At some point, the waiter must have refilled my wine. I hadn't noticed, but then I barely noticed the workers putting the chairs on the tables and killing the lights. They were shaking me and saying I had to leave, but all I could think was that I wished he'd slapped me, or called me a whore, or done anything at all besides walk away and leave me staring at a table for hours.

Like a zombie I shambled out into the rain. How fitting that the outside world would echo the way I felt inside. I stood oblivious to the downpour for a moment, letting my hair and clothes get soaked as I stared up and down the street, wondering where I should go. Where would I go, and what would I do when I got there? What, if anything, could be done at a time like this, with everything I'd ever known suddenly at a bitter end?

I looked back down the street. Home was that way, though I knew I'd not be welcome.

I turned my back on home, and trudged into the sodden night to find my prince.


End file.
